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Friday, April 10, 2009


haizx... feelin emo again... like dam lost... dun noe wad to do... dun noe wads the next step tat i should take... everyone enjoyin or enjoyed their 18th bdae... makes me wonder how will mine be... created by myself?.. surprise by others?... or maybe like all the others year... just being alone... playin com... watchin tv... somehow it becomes very insignificance to me... or it is got i got no hopes anymore... coz i wont be like how i expect it... or maybe there wont be anything... my fren celebrated her 18th bdae like alot of daes... maybe mine will last for at least hours... sometimes i just cant help being pessimistic... cant stop thinkin of negative thoughts... maybe i hav to change my mindset... but somehow i just cant stop being emo.. sometimes i tok too much... when i dun tok ppl think im in a bad mood... maybe more or less its true... or maybe i realised i was irritating tokin rubbish... so i decided to shut up?... or maybe i dun noe wad u guys r tokin so i just remain silent... is it wrong?... when i tok ppl wan me to shut up... den when i shut up ppl sae i dao or emo... seems like nth is goin the rite way... sometimes i dun even noe when is the real me... or maybe i haven found the real me?... or there is no real me... somehow i just cant seem to find myself... maybe all the while ive been tryin to please ppl... like how they wan me to be?... i really dun noe anymore... dun sae ppl cant accept me... i think i cant even accept myself... i only noe im always wrong... eerything i do is wrong... it ony causes trouble or gives others trouble... sometimes i help others but i think back.. i think it was more of other ppl helpin me... im useless?... i dun exist?... im just a pain in the ass?... im just a thorn?

11:20 PM

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